day seven: where you are in your life vs. where you thought you would be at this point

...this plagues me daily!

i thought, for SURE, i'd be married with 2 kids by now. owning a home, with a couple of dogs, cool neighbors, etc. the "family" life.

i am currently single, with no kids...and no dogs. however, i am working my dream job and loving every minute of it! funny how, as a kid, i planned my family life but left no room to develop a career. i said i wanted to make good money (i currently do), but i didn't really go into much detail about where i wanted to work, how i was going to make this "good money" i spoke of, what steps i would take to get this job, etc. really strange, now that i think about it...

i never dreamed that i'd work for a company as amazing as the one i work for. of course, every company has its flaws, but the best thing about this one is it invests in its employees. we are able to participate in a stock purchase plan, so essentially, we own a portion of the company...meaning we have a vested interest in how well the company does. which, in turn, means we work very hard to achieve maximum/best results. everyone works very hard. we work very long hours. we travel. we lose sleep. we work from home. we work when we're sick, because things have to get done. a company that invests in its employees never has to worry about the quality of the work its employees do. i firmly believe that, because i am giving everything i have to make sure my job is done accurately so that clients and employees are happy with what i've provided. i am grateful for my job, i love it, and i am looking forward to many more years with this company.

that being said...it is a bit of a challenge to start and cultivate a relationship. it would be difficult to date someone who is unhappy with their job, or does not have a busy schedule. there tends to be a lack of understanding...i'm goo-goo over my job, but it does take a lot out of me, and i spend a lot of time (even free time) doing it. it would be nice to meet someone who is ambitious and is working towards promotion, etc...because if we don't see each other everyday and we have to plan dates, etc, there's more understanding and a lot more flexibility if we're on the same page/in the same boat.

so - i want to date someone who currently works crazy hours and is investing in creating a dream career, so i don't feel bad about not having a bunch of free time to just chill/hang out. or when we do hang out, he understands that i might answer e-mails or my work phone (because he might be doing the same).

i am in a great position career-wise. i am in a pickle relationship-wise. lol. :)

day six: sound off on the quote “every woman has the exact love life she wants”

sounding off...

it's probably an accurate statement. i question whether or not i actually want to be in a relationship at times. sometimes i'm a little flaky. i'm not great at keeping in touch, and when i get annoyed, i just stop communicating. it doesn't take much to annoy me, either. i try to explain myself and work through problems with people, but after a certain point, i'm just like forget it, and i shut it down.

i wish there was more love in my life (from a significant other), but i probably need to open myself up a bit more and be patient with people to allow that to happen. everyone has love to give - but i need to start accepting it.

blah blah blah. while it's an accurate statement, i still don't like it.

day five: the biggest misconception you think people have about single life

...would be that it is footloose and fancy-free.

it is NOT. there is NO backup plan when you're single. you have to plan by yourself to succeed by yourself. that means i have to pay all my bills alone, i have to save alone, any money i spend is MINE, not shared with someone else.

it can be lonely at times. it's great to come home to a quiet house, but sometimes i wish i came home to a quiet husband, lol. someone who just wanted to cuddle and watch movies and chill out...maybe talk about our days...but there's no talking when i come home. just quiet night with a loud TV and usually some type of red wine.

day four: your biggest fear as a single person

...would have to be "being single permanently" or missing the healthy range of childbearing years, and not be able to have children.

okay, so this is kinda starting to get depressing...this is a real fear for me, and i honestly feel sometimes that i'm not going to meet the "man of my dreams". i sometimes think my standards are too specific, but then i realize, i'm particular about more than men...so it's normal for me to have preferences. i have preferences for myself and i know what i can offer and i won't settle for less.

...which scares me. because i don't know if i'm playing russian roulette about this. sure, i go on dates and find men attractive, but enough to commit? 

attraction goes past the physical. i really want a well traveled man who is happy with his current job/career, is independent, is God-fearing and family-oriented. the reason i don't think this is excessive is because it describes me right now. i want an equal. not someone i have to bring up to speed or accept "as is". granted, i KNOW there are things about myself that need work. that's why i'm trying to eat more healthy and live a more balanced lifestyle. a bunch of good qualities mean nothing if your body isn't healthy. looks aren't everything, but a pretty smile and clear complexion helps. i really don't think that's asking too much.

...and then sometimes i think it's too specific. but then if i'm not specific, i'm settling. it's a crazy world.

day three: describe a moment or a day when being single was really awesome

a moment when being single was really awesome...

...almost everyday when i wake up and don't have to get kids or a significant other ready for work/school. i'm still not a morning person, at 27. i love staying up late, relaxing, watching TV...but i always pay for it when i have to work the next day.

but more specifically, i'm going to orlando tomorrow for work. and it's awesome being single right now because there should be some type of eye-candy (if i get a chance to scope any out) in the area. i have no attachments, i owe no explanations, and i can collect a number or two if the opportunity presents itself.

boo. yow.

day two: describe a moment or a day when being single really sucked

a moment when being single really sucked...

my job has lots of cool off site events that allow you a +1 spot. the past couple of events, i've either gone stag or brought my mom.

meanwhile, all my coworkers are at least 15 years older than me, and are married. *kicks dirt* i love my mom, but i'd like my +1 to AT LEAST be a boyfriend on occasion. i have a lot of male friends, but (sorry guys) i don't want to bring a bunch of random dudes to work outings...too much speculation. my mom is safe, lol. people know she's my mom; we look alike. if i bring one guy to something this month, and then a different guy next month.......well, i feel i'd look promiscuous (lol).

for the most part, being single isn't so bad. in moments like these, or when i see people in productive relationships getting engaged or married, or having kids...i'm like "wow, that's awesome!" but i kick dirt like come ON! can it be me soon? sheesh...

day one: your response to everyone’s favorite question: “and why are YOU still single?”

i absolutely hate this question, passionately. my response to this is usually "because i haven't met a person who i want to share time and space with on a consistent basis, yet."

i usually get asked this question by men i'm meeting for the first time, who are seeing the qualities they would desire in a mate. what they don't see are my expectations. in the past year and a half that i've been single, i've dated about a dozen men, never fully committing to one, always accepting applications.

so i think the reason i'm still single is because i haven't been willing to fully commit to one person, because i think i'll miss out on someone better.

rules of engagement

i decided to take part in a blogging challenge, not just to stimulate my creativity and write more regularly, but also to look intrinsically at myself, as a single woman. if you want to read the creator's posts, you should swing by The Single Woman and take a look! really powerful, motivational entries that are helpful everyday!

The Single Woman’s 30-Day Blogging Challenge

1)      Your response to everyone’s favorite question: “And why are YOU still single?”

2)      Describe a moment or a day when being single really sucked.

3)      Describe a moment or a day when being single was really awesome.

4)      Your biggest fear as a single person.

5)      The biggest misconception you think people have about single life

6)      Sound off on the quote “Every woman has the exact love life she wants”

7)      Where you are in your life vs. where you thought you would be at this point

8)      Five things that are most important to you in a future mate

9)      Your favorite “weird/funny single behavior” – Anything you do that is uniquely YOU and that living alone allows you to do (For example, I sometimes dance around the house with my cat to Frank Sinatra)

10)   Google the meaning of your name and talk about how it fits or doesn’t fit you

11)   Your worst/funniest/most embarrassing date

12)   Your proudest accomplishment

13)   Describe how you met the last person you texted and talk about your friendship/relationship

14)   Describe the last moment you felt really, truly blissful

15)   Narrate a conversation between you and someone in your life who you never had closure with (a friend, an ex, a family member, etc.) What would you say? What would they say? What outcome would you hope for?

16)   If you planted a time capsule right now of your life to be opened in 20 years, what would be in it?

17)   What are your spiritual beliefs and how do they impact your relationships/relationship status?

18)   If you could have a conversation with yourself in high school, what would you say?

19)   What is something about you that people would be surprised to learn?

20)   Describe your most difficult breakup and what you learned from it

21)   How would you pitch a reality show about yourself? To what network?

22)   What fictional character in a movie, tv show, or book do you identify with and why?

23)   Talk about a moment when you got annoyed with a married friend, a person in a relationship, or a person with kids (Be honest! No judgment!)

24)   If you could relive ONE day of your life, what would it be? And would you change anything?

25)   Describe a moment when you “paid it forward.” What happened and how did it feel?

26)   Name a song that makes you cry every time you hear it and why

27)   Talk about something that you really, really, really love about yourself.

28)   Describe a moment when you made a big, bold move. In any area of life: Career, Love, etc.

29)   Who is your closest or most special friend that you’ve never met and what do they mean to you? How did you cross paths? Talk about how you “met” them: Facebook, Twitter, anonline support group, etc.

30)   Write a letter to your future mate saying whatever you want to say