i can list a few things i'd want to touch on:
1. thank you.
2. thank God for you.
3. i love you.
the end.
don't really know word for word what i'd say...that sounds like handwritten vows more than anything.
Monday, November 25, 2013
Thursday, November 21, 2013
day twenty-nine: who is your closest or most special friend that you’ve never met (in person) and what do they mean to you? how did you cross paths? talk about how you “met” them: facebook, twitter, an online support group, etc.
closest/most special friend i've never met in person - therren.
we actually met on match.com several months ago. his initial e-mail was the BEST intro e-mail i've ever gotten, to date. he didn't ask me questions about things that were already plainly spelled out on my profile, and he didn't start with "so, what are you doing this weekend?" <--gets on my nerves. lol.
since then, we've talked just about every day, about different things...via text or on the phone. we rarely e-mail each other anymore.
he means more to me than i thought he would, mainly because i've been so emotionally detached for so long. i wasn't really paying attention to any signals he was sending that he might have some sort of 'feelings' for me, because our conversations were usually very playful and light-hearted in nature.
a couple days ago, he sent a text that simply said "meet me in the city for dinner & drinks." well, i was in a movie, and didn't get that message until a couple of hours later, and by that time it was too late for me to go home, get ready & drive into DC. so i had to tell him maybe we should just plan something...
he was frustrated. he's asked me out a few other times before, and usually i'm at work or involved in doing something else that was pre-scheduled. i think that's what put things in perspective for me...that things were a little more emotionally involved than i had previously accounted for.
after explaining how sorry i was, and also giving him a peek at how my weeks kinda fly by (my schedule), he was more understanding. i still felt bad. he's super busy, too...goes to school, works FT, and is an army vet. lots going on.
anyway, i'm hoping we meet soon. he's 6'4". lol. you know how much i like tall, dark & handsome. :)
we actually met on match.com several months ago. his initial e-mail was the BEST intro e-mail i've ever gotten, to date. he didn't ask me questions about things that were already plainly spelled out on my profile, and he didn't start with "so, what are you doing this weekend?" <--gets on my nerves. lol.
since then, we've talked just about every day, about different things...via text or on the phone. we rarely e-mail each other anymore.
he means more to me than i thought he would, mainly because i've been so emotionally detached for so long. i wasn't really paying attention to any signals he was sending that he might have some sort of 'feelings' for me, because our conversations were usually very playful and light-hearted in nature.
a couple days ago, he sent a text that simply said "meet me in the city for dinner & drinks." well, i was in a movie, and didn't get that message until a couple of hours later, and by that time it was too late for me to go home, get ready & drive into DC. so i had to tell him maybe we should just plan something...
he was frustrated. he's asked me out a few other times before, and usually i'm at work or involved in doing something else that was pre-scheduled. i think that's what put things in perspective for me...that things were a little more emotionally involved than i had previously accounted for.
after explaining how sorry i was, and also giving him a peek at how my weeks kinda fly by (my schedule), he was more understanding. i still felt bad. he's super busy, too...goes to school, works FT, and is an army vet. lots going on.
anyway, i'm hoping we meet soon. he's 6'4". lol. you know how much i like tall, dark & handsome. :)
Tuesday, November 19, 2013
day twenty-eight: describe a moment when you made a big, bold move. In any area of life: career, love, etc.
earlier this year, i decided to quit my good job because of bad management.
rewind a little...
i got put on a final warning in september. the reasons weren't quite justified, as there were several other employees doing the same things and not being reprimanded. i also provided documentation for my actions, and there was still no leniency.
in november, i attempted to give my 2 weeks notice. my manager was caught off guard, we talked, she explained she didn't want me to leave, etc. so i stayed. i owed her NOTHING and could've left that day, but i didn't.
3 months later, i was still on final warning. i decided to meet with my manager and talk about being taken off of it. she said she needed to see more consistency, not just for weeks, but for months. i told her being on final warning for 5 months was excessive and it wasn't motivating me to do any better, it was actually causing more stress. being on the chopping block is already hard, but coming to work not knowing if you're going to be fired on any given day for any reason, is even worse.
she refused to take me off of it, so i knew my days were going to be numbered. i couldn't handle the stress anymore.
monday, february 19th. i drove home and stopped for gas in annapolis. usually i stop before i get home (like, in rockville, or even somewhere random) or i run errands...but this day was different. got to annapolis & pumped a full tank of gas. and guess what? my car wouldn't start back up. i had to push the car into an empty space, and leave it there overnight at the gas station. luckily, i was in annapolis, so my mom came to help me push the car & pick me up. the next day, i was going to rent a car & go to work, but then i was like "how am i gonna keep this up?" so instead, that night, i called my manager. no answer. i contacted a coworker (her grandson's mother - oh yeah, nepotism) and asked if she'd text her and give her my personal # so i could speak to her. i contacted another coworker (her friend) and asked her to ask my manager if i could have her # to give her a quick call. neither of these women got responses. i sent an e-mail. i left a general voicemail at work, and then i left a private voicemail on her direct line.
the next day - i got NO responses all day. no replies to e-mail, no call backs, nothing. so at 5 pm, i e-mailed her my resignation letter.
it had been a long time coming, but i was done being jerked around like a puppet. i'm intelligent and i do excellent work. i knew i didn't deserve this type of treatment. and with me having to fix my car to be able to return to work, i knew that had i returned once it was fixed, she would've given me the axe.
then i would've had to cut her.
so i quit. it was a bold move for me because i'm the backup plan queen. i have never quit a job without having one lined up. however, my other backup plan is usually my savings. this time, i had money in savings, i had 401K, and i'd just gotten my tax returns. so i knew i'd be okay for at least a few months.
a week later, i started working at applebees. i have a lot of serving/bartending experience, and there's no extensive process to getting hired at a restaurant. basically, it's have experience, be cute (sometimes, lol), and be flexible. i worked there for 4 months. i had some days off. but i made enough money to pay my monthly bills and leave my savings alone, which felt amazing.
in may, i got a call from a recruiter, asking me to come in for an interview. i hadn't applied for the job, but was referred by an employee. i interviewed a few days later, and got rave reviews. the executives i interviewed with wanted to hire me the same day. they even wrote amazing remarks and pushed for me to start immediately. i wasn't supposed to hear from the recruiter for at least 2-3 business days because there were 6 other candidates who interviewed the same day i did, but i heard from the recruiter the very next morning.
:)
rewind a little...
i got put on a final warning in september. the reasons weren't quite justified, as there were several other employees doing the same things and not being reprimanded. i also provided documentation for my actions, and there was still no leniency.
in november, i attempted to give my 2 weeks notice. my manager was caught off guard, we talked, she explained she didn't want me to leave, etc. so i stayed. i owed her NOTHING and could've left that day, but i didn't.
3 months later, i was still on final warning. i decided to meet with my manager and talk about being taken off of it. she said she needed to see more consistency, not just for weeks, but for months. i told her being on final warning for 5 months was excessive and it wasn't motivating me to do any better, it was actually causing more stress. being on the chopping block is already hard, but coming to work not knowing if you're going to be fired on any given day for any reason, is even worse.
she refused to take me off of it, so i knew my days were going to be numbered. i couldn't handle the stress anymore.
monday, february 19th. i drove home and stopped for gas in annapolis. usually i stop before i get home (like, in rockville, or even somewhere random) or i run errands...but this day was different. got to annapolis & pumped a full tank of gas. and guess what? my car wouldn't start back up. i had to push the car into an empty space, and leave it there overnight at the gas station. luckily, i was in annapolis, so my mom came to help me push the car & pick me up. the next day, i was going to rent a car & go to work, but then i was like "how am i gonna keep this up?" so instead, that night, i called my manager. no answer. i contacted a coworker (her grandson's mother - oh yeah, nepotism) and asked if she'd text her and give her my personal # so i could speak to her. i contacted another coworker (her friend) and asked her to ask my manager if i could have her # to give her a quick call. neither of these women got responses. i sent an e-mail. i left a general voicemail at work, and then i left a private voicemail on her direct line.
the next day - i got NO responses all day. no replies to e-mail, no call backs, nothing. so at 5 pm, i e-mailed her my resignation letter.
it had been a long time coming, but i was done being jerked around like a puppet. i'm intelligent and i do excellent work. i knew i didn't deserve this type of treatment. and with me having to fix my car to be able to return to work, i knew that had i returned once it was fixed, she would've given me the axe.
then i would've had to cut her.
so i quit. it was a bold move for me because i'm the backup plan queen. i have never quit a job without having one lined up. however, my other backup plan is usually my savings. this time, i had money in savings, i had 401K, and i'd just gotten my tax returns. so i knew i'd be okay for at least a few months.
a week later, i started working at applebees. i have a lot of serving/bartending experience, and there's no extensive process to getting hired at a restaurant. basically, it's have experience, be cute (sometimes, lol), and be flexible. i worked there for 4 months. i had some days off. but i made enough money to pay my monthly bills and leave my savings alone, which felt amazing.
in may, i got a call from a recruiter, asking me to come in for an interview. i hadn't applied for the job, but was referred by an employee. i interviewed a few days later, and got rave reviews. the executives i interviewed with wanted to hire me the same day. they even wrote amazing remarks and pushed for me to start immediately. i wasn't supposed to hear from the recruiter for at least 2-3 business days because there were 6 other candidates who interviewed the same day i did, but i heard from the recruiter the very next morning.
:)
Monday, November 18, 2013
day twenty-seven: talk about something that you really, really, really love about yourself
physically: my eyes
they are slightly slanted, but almond shaped. i love the color, my lashes...love everything about my eyes, except that my sight is not the greatest little thing. -_-
but! more importantly, i love that i'm incredibly intelligent, i have a lot of life experience, and i'm able to give really good advice. say what you will about me, but i don't think i've ever been called stupid or dumb...unless it's in reference to my sense of humor (which is also awesome, honestly).
it's hard for me to talk about myself like this, but i really do love being smart and funny. i like that people come to me with problems and trust me enough to share with me, and believe in me enough to know i can fix them! it's pretty funny to me...logic is probably my biggest strong point, mentally. i'm really good at making sense of things. however, on the flip side, when i can't make sense of something, i do get stressed out...especially if i need it to make sense to move forward...definitely a downside to being analysis- and logic-oriented.
they are slightly slanted, but almond shaped. i love the color, my lashes...love everything about my eyes, except that my sight is not the greatest little thing. -_-
but! more importantly, i love that i'm incredibly intelligent, i have a lot of life experience, and i'm able to give really good advice. say what you will about me, but i don't think i've ever been called stupid or dumb...unless it's in reference to my sense of humor (which is also awesome, honestly).
it's hard for me to talk about myself like this, but i really do love being smart and funny. i like that people come to me with problems and trust me enough to share with me, and believe in me enough to know i can fix them! it's pretty funny to me...logic is probably my biggest strong point, mentally. i'm really good at making sense of things. however, on the flip side, when i can't make sense of something, i do get stressed out...especially if i need it to make sense to move forward...definitely a downside to being analysis- and logic-oriented.
day twenty-six: name a song that makes you cry every time you hear it and why
a song for you - donny hathaway
i love donny hathaway's voice...but this song has so much meaning to it. i can't explain...i tear up faithfully, every time i hear him sing it. other artists have covered it, but it's not the same.
free - kierra sheard
this song makes me feel like there's hope, and that's something i tend to lack on occasion. she puts so much emotion into singing it, to where she is actually crying, and i feel like if i were to sing it publicly, i'd cry. i know i do when i sing it at home (lol).
i love donny hathaway's voice...but this song has so much meaning to it. i can't explain...i tear up faithfully, every time i hear him sing it. other artists have covered it, but it's not the same.
free - kierra sheard
this song makes me feel like there's hope, and that's something i tend to lack on occasion. she puts so much emotion into singing it, to where she is actually crying, and i feel like if i were to sing it publicly, i'd cry. i know i do when i sing it at home (lol).
day twenty-five: describe a moment when you “paid it forward.” what happened and how did it feel?
it always feels awesome.
one time in particular i remember was last year around thanksgiving. there's an agency that caters to youth who don't usually get to have thanksgiving dinner, so the agency (really, a man & his two kids) puts together a big thanksgiving dinner in SE DC.
i was working in operations management and also mentoring for a small non-profit, where the girls who were members of the group were going to get community service hours by volunteering at the thanksgiving dinner.
well, the man who ran the agency wanted the girls to interact with the other kids who were there...to kind of gain perspective on life and appreciate things more. that meant that i had to end up volunteering.
i have SO many volunteer hours, it's not even funny, lol. but this time was different. there were so many kids who were just genuinely hungry and you could tell that maybe they had been wandering the streets for a few days or maybe didn't have a home to go to. it felt amazing to have donated food to this cause, and also donate my time. meeting those kids and being able to talk with them and sit & eat with them (eventually, lol), and also handing out personal cards as a reference was wonderful.
i still mentor a few people, and that feels really amazing, as well.
one time in particular i remember was last year around thanksgiving. there's an agency that caters to youth who don't usually get to have thanksgiving dinner, so the agency (really, a man & his two kids) puts together a big thanksgiving dinner in SE DC.
i was working in operations management and also mentoring for a small non-profit, where the girls who were members of the group were going to get community service hours by volunteering at the thanksgiving dinner.
well, the man who ran the agency wanted the girls to interact with the other kids who were there...to kind of gain perspective on life and appreciate things more. that meant that i had to end up volunteering.
i have SO many volunteer hours, it's not even funny, lol. but this time was different. there were so many kids who were just genuinely hungry and you could tell that maybe they had been wandering the streets for a few days or maybe didn't have a home to go to. it felt amazing to have donated food to this cause, and also donate my time. meeting those kids and being able to talk with them and sit & eat with them (eventually, lol), and also handing out personal cards as a reference was wonderful.
i still mentor a few people, and that feels really amazing, as well.
Friday, November 15, 2013
day twenty-four: if you could relive ONE day of your life, what would it be? and would you change anything?
...if i could just go back in time...i'd take state. -uncle rico (napoleon dynamite)
if i could relive any day of my life, it would be the day i conceded (yes, i merely agreed) to get into the relationship i was in with brandon. i feel like it was a really bad decision in the grand scheme of things...it caused a lot of confidence and self-worth issues moving forward. it was the catalyst for a lot of other bad decisions i also made. i would've chosen not to be with him.
i would've also decided not to be with khalif, and probably jesse too. i feel i haven't made good decisions in men...a lot of it is not having a blueprint to go off of (re: absentee father, lol)...another part is seeing potential in people, and since i like fixing things, feeling like i can "fix" the guy or help him get better.
can't help people who don't want it. can't change anyone. can't control anyone!
that's just my 2 cents.
if i could relive any day of my life, it would be the day i conceded (yes, i merely agreed) to get into the relationship i was in with brandon. i feel like it was a really bad decision in the grand scheme of things...it caused a lot of confidence and self-worth issues moving forward. it was the catalyst for a lot of other bad decisions i also made. i would've chosen not to be with him.
i would've also decided not to be with khalif, and probably jesse too. i feel i haven't made good decisions in men...a lot of it is not having a blueprint to go off of (re: absentee father, lol)...another part is seeing potential in people, and since i like fixing things, feeling like i can "fix" the guy or help him get better.
can't help people who don't want it. can't change anyone. can't control anyone!
that's just my 2 cents.
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